Hi Friends,
Nine years ago this month, we found out we were pregnant with our first baby, Hunter. We had been on the fast track (together for two years, married for less than one) and, despite planning for and wanting this new addition, we were completely caught off guard by how much our lives were about to change.
When we were preparing for Hunter, we both came to the table with strict "non-negotiables." For Danielle, it was a 220-item, heavily researched baby registry and a commitment to exclusively breastfeed. For Greg, it was an absolute mandate to hire a baby nurse to protect sleep and work performance.
Looking back, we realize that laying down "non-negotiables" is usually just a way to protect ourselves. Underneath rigidity is almost always fear.
So, if we could give our younger selves one piece of advice, it would be to spend less time debating logistical choices and more time supporting each other through our fears.
In this week’s episode of The Most Important Thing (TMIT 46), we reflect on our transition into parenthood and share some team-building takeaways that we use now, which would have definitely helped us in the early days:
Have short, frequent check-ins. Your identities and your marriage change rapidly in early parenthood. Don't wait for a blowout to talk about what's shifting.
Get curious about "Non-Negotiables." The next time your partner is stubbornly rigid about a choice, ask them gently what they are trying to protect or what they are afraid of.
Name the fear. Sharing your fears is an incredibly bonding experience that immediately puts you both back on the same side of the table, “fighting for your team”.
If you want to spend less time debating and more time supporting each other, this episode is for you.
Listen here:
🎧 Apple Podcasts
📺 Spotify
📺 YouTube
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Samesies,
Danielle & Greg
P.S. If you want to hear more about how we are navigating the AI future with our kids, we just did a guest spot on The AI-Empowered Mom podcast with Sarah Dooley (Episode #44). We talked about why this exact moment in AI feels like the weeks right before Covid, how we balance our family AI stack (like Tesla FSD) with our core values, and even shared our family cheer and how our 4-year-old Maverick likes to lead us in. If you want to stay grounded while staying ahead of the curve, give it a listen here.
