🎙️TMIT 13: Compassion starts with us 🧡

And introducing the Pause Pass: a simple way to say “I need a minute,” and actually take it.

Hi friends,

This week on The Most Important Thing, we’re digging into self-compassion—not just as a concept, but as a habit we’re actively trying to build at home.  

This week’s line from the Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto: “We will teach you compassion by practicing compassion with ourselves first; then with each other.” 

You can watch us struggle with this concept first and then practice compassion with ourselves in 4k video, as today marks the release of TMIT’s first video episode!

In this episode, we each took Dr. Kristin Neff’s Self-Compassion Test to get a clearer picture of where we’re growing—and where we’re stuck.

  • Greg thinks about self-compassion a lot…and practices it very poorly

  • Danielle scored high on self-kindness, but also high on self-judgment

From there, we designed two experiments:

🟨 Danielle’s Pause Pass

A small, laminated card she holds up when she needs a break.

It’s her wordless way to say: “I’m not shutting down. I’m resetting.”

🧠 Greg’s Public Naming Practice

He’s working on “building in public”—naming when he feels like he’s starting to go off track, so he can shift before spiraling.

TMIT about Compassion: Compassion starts with how we treat ourselves, because you can’t pour from an empty cup.

🎧 Listen to TMIT Episode 13: Compassion
Spotify \ Apple \ YouTube 

It’s about learning to treat yourself like someone you love—and modeling that love, out loud.

📄 Take the Self-Compassion Test here (it’s quick—under 5 minutes!)

🟨 Want your own Pause Pass? Copy our free template. 

With warmth (and plenty of do-overs),

Danielle & Greg

P.S. Have you tried our TMIT AI chat companion yet? Our girls spilled a full set of melting beads all over the floor right after the house was cleaned on Sunday, and the AI did a pretty good job of guiding us!

This week on the socials:

🧡 We’d love to hear from you:

  • What have you tried?

  • What’s worked? What hasn’t?

  • What felt too big? What sparked something new?

Reply to this email or find us on IG @themostimpthing or X @themostimpthing—we love hearing your stories.

And ICYMI – We made a TMIT Tip Sheet—a one-pager with our favorite takeaways from “Season 1”, our first 8 episodes. Quick, clear, and packed with practical ideas for building family culture through small experiments.

And before you go…
Don’t forget to sample our new fragrance!