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Mindset Reset 🧠⚡️
What we get wrong about having a "fixed" or "growth" mindset
Danielle & Greg Neufeld
September 29, 2025
Hi friends,
We’ve all heard the buzz about growth vs. fixed mindset. It’s everywhere: posters in classrooms, slides in corporate trainings, carousels on social media. But the truth is, the real story is more layered than those bite-sized takes let on.
But, as these ideas have been popularized, they’ve been drastically oversimplified (shocking, we know).
On this week’s episode of The Most Important Thing, we explore Mary Murphy’s Cultures of Growth—a book about how teams and organizations shape culture in the business world – and how we were struck by just how relevant her insights are at home.
Families are organizations too, and as leaders of our families, we have the opportunity to set the mindset culture—shaping how we respond to challenges, feedback, and each other.
Here’s what stood out for us:
Mindset isn’t fixed (pun intended). We all transition between fixed and growth mindsets depending on the context.
There are 4 predictable triggers of mindset: evaluation, high effort, critical feedback, and the success of others. We dig into each and how they show up constantly in family life.
When someone’s in a performative state (your kid on stage, your partner mid-soapbox), that’s the worst time to teach or critique. As Greg likes to say, “Don’t give notes on opening night.”
The bottom line: Mindset isn’t a label we stick on ourselves or our kids. It’s a spectrum we’re all moving along. When we notice where we are and what triggered it, we create space for compassion, resilience, and a family culture of growth.
👇 Check out the episode:
TMIT 29: Mindset Reset – What We Get Wrong About Growth Mindset
Spotify | Apple | YouTube
⏱️ We also made a bite-sized reel with three key takeaways that you can watch in under 60 seconds. Check it out below or on Instagram, TikTok, or YouTube.
With competence and curiosity,
Danielle & Greg
P.S. Thank you for all the interest in last week’s episode, “TMIT 28: How We Divide, Conquer, and Connect – Our Shared Operating System.” It’s the framework behind our marriage, and we were thrilled to hear how many of you found it useful. We’re especially grateful to those of you who reached out with your own stories and systems.
