Culture Eats Parenting for Breakfast 🥓

Getting clear on the difference between parenting vs. building culture

Author

Danielle & Greg Neufeld
September 02, 2025

Hi friends,

We hope you all enjoyed the holiday weekend and unofficial end of summer. As our kids transition into a new school year, we’ve gotten clear on our own lesson: The Most Important Thing isn’t about parenting—it’s about leadership.

If you’re reading this email, you’re already a great parent. But we’re learning that leading a family takes something different.

That’s why we’ve been focusing on family culture. The difference between parenting and leadership is something we’ve felt for a while, but we finally found the language for it.

Parenting, as it’s marketed today, is management. It’s about keeping things running—routines, logistics, rules, problem-solving. It creates stability.

But family culture? It’s about shaping who we are, what we believe, and how we show up for each other—especially when no one’s watching. That’s leadership. And we don’t think it’s talked about nearly enough.

In this week’s episode:

  • Why parenting advice today is mostly management advice

  • The language that helped us name what we’re really building

  • What broke for us after baby #2 (TL;DR: everything)

  • Why family meetings and dopamine moats are about more than behavior

  • How we’re thinking about leadership at home: the lighthouse method (think: Danny Meyer at his restaurants) vs. the creativity lab method (think: Ed Catmull at Pixar)

This episode marked a turning point for us. It helped us gain a clear understanding of the distinction between managing a household and leading a family, and why we need both.

We’d love to know how you’re thinking about culture at home. If you’ve been experimenting— rituals, values, frameworks — send it our way. We’ll try it and share what we learn.

Yours with intention,
Danielle & Greg

On the socials:

At our family meeting this week, the family learning was led by Hunter! Learning a new skill coached by our kid…feels like the beginning of a great new chapter. Happy Labor Day! ♥️